Breaking The Silence Online

@Jade-1 said in #507:
> Just how likely? I have never once received any sexual or messages of harassment.

Long may it continue..

I find your stance odd since you have stated earlier in this thread that you are female, and yet you are arguing against my position which is to say I have had some instances of harassment etc and that this should not be happening and we should work together to try to stop it. I am genuinely happy for you that you have not experienced this, but you can't argue against my experience, it is my testimony which you can either believe or not believe.

Also you have only been on Lichess for 4 weeks so maybe give it some time and then see what happens.

@QueenRosieMary said in #510:
> Ok well the problem with your Zen mode "solution", apart from being the equivalent of telling women to stay in the house so they don't get attacked on the street, is that a lot of the harassment happens via dm or in the forums, or in arena chat, not just in a private game chat. In fact, I would say it happens in-game the least.

Zen mode is not the equivalent of telling women to stay in the house so they don't get attacked on the street. Staying indoors has massive societal implications that impact every facet of life. A more valid analogy would be turning off chat in a video game or rolling up the window while in a car when someone is trying to talk to you.

If harassment is such a big issue then don't visit the forums or look at dms from people you don't know. One should not expect to not experience any harassment throughout life. By the way I've yet seen any harassment in the forums and it typically doesn't happen out of nowhere so if it's such a big issue one can respond on the forum as to not create a high likelihood of harassment.

> Also, it would be rather impractical to get on with life and leading 7 teams and running numerous tournaments if I never interacted with anyone. The problem is not that I am not hiding, the problem is the idiots who are perpetrating the abuse. Let's be clear about that.

Then this means that you value leading 7 teams more than the sexual harassment experienced. Now with not looking at dms and using zen mode with people you don't know, not posting in a way to incite someone to harass I think the issue that is less significant than leading 7 teams will be mostly resolved.

Sure the problem is the people perpetrating the abuse however that doesn't mean that one should walk in a dark alley wearing jewelry and drunk in a dangerous neighborhood at night. Just as people take precautions in real life they should also apply that type of precaution online.

@laynierpd said in #508:
> I am not english speaker, nor going to use translator neither, so: sorry in advance. This is my opinion: IT is a generational problem. Not-cristal-people are free of theese issues. Of course there is bad people online, bad people everywhere. It is not a chess problem, it is a natural condition. Are you a good person_? me too... or not_? Men will go for women forever(I hope) and there is nothing wrong with it. If someone disturb you, run, ignore or fight. It he is breaking the law go to the law, do not make it a chess problem. Are the blak people making demands because white pieces move first_? Now we are going to make neutral colors for chess pieces and squares, so the crystal generation don ́t raise flag against the game too.
> For the last, I am sorry for you. I have kids and would kill if someone hurts them... but some of your friends are right. Stay close to them.

1) As for how the white pieces move first, my information may not be the most accurate but if I remember correctly people used to just move with whatever colour they wanted. Later on the only reason they decided white moved first was because white was considered the "unlucky" colour. Making it move first was supposed to balance out this "disadvantage."

2) You say that "Men will go for women forever(I hope) and there is nothing wrong with it. " I apologize in advance if you meant something else here and your point was lost in translation. But this is a chess website, not a dating website. It doesn't make sense for people to go after women that did not consent to being harassed or stalked.

@mimi7789 said in #518:
> But this is a chess website, not a dating website. It doesn't make sense for people to go after women that did not consent to being harassed or stalked.

What's wrong with dates happening outside of a dating website? If someone sends an unsolicited message to another asking for a date/something romantic, that by itself isn't harassment. Only after a response that it's unwelcome and the person continues does it become harassment.

@replaced said in #514:
> Then this means that you value leading 7 teams more than the sexual harassment experienced.

Is it that hard for you to understand that maybe they would like to lead 7 teams AND not be sexually harassed? At least no more than men would in the same case?
Women should have the possibility to come drunk at night displaying expensive stuff, and get harassed *on average* exactely as often as men. no special treatment.
To have the same consequences than men for the "lack of precautions".

@replaced said in #514:
> By the way I've yet seen any harassment in the forums

I know you have struggles with memory (and plain and simple reading), you proved that over and over again in forgetting what you yourself wrote and understanding the opposite of what your own sources claim.
Ask some mods to send you some of the stuff that was deleted here.

Doing everything in your power to not watch, and then say " I didn't see anything, so that's proof it didn't happen" can basically sum up the entirety of your position on sexism/feminism.

@replaced said in #514:
> Just as people take precautions in real life they should also apply that type of precaution online.

Follow your own advice. You seen to like being provocative. Maybe you should wear an armor, just in case it once in your life works ;)

either you lack good faith or you lack cognitive abilities. My money is on both, and that's a safe bet.

@TurtleMat said in #521:
> t night displaying expensive stuff, and get harassed *on average* exactely as often as men. no special treatment.

If women went home at night flashing of their wealth through jewlery, electronics etc, then they should expected to get robbed more often then if men did the same thing.

As a woman is much easier to overpower on average than a man. Men and Women are not equal, so stop pretending that they are. They should be treated at an equal level, but please do not pretend that they are the same, it will just lead to hurt/pain and further inequalities down the line.

Like imagine you are in a burning building, and you've broken your leg due to fallen debris. Who do you want dragging you out of that building a 120lb 5ft 4 woman, or a 6ft 5 300lb man.

Criminals don't care about your ethics or your morals, which is why they are criminals. If they cared about morality, then they'd not be robbing you.

Its not victim blaming to tell people to have the common sense to realize that not everyone in this universe confirms to their specific way of thinking and going about their business, and that they should sufficiently prepare themselves for potential scenarios.

Imagine i went to ISIS as a christian preacher, what would happen to me. Would your first reaction be "oh isnt ISIS so evil", or "wow what an idiot, why the hell did he try preaching christianity to ISIS".

There's a reason we have the darwin awards.

If you want to start talking about equality in Chess for example, then we're going to need to start removing titles from Women. All of the female exclusive titles, because they are significantly easier to obtain than their male counterparts. Men can play against Women, this game is not a segregated sport, so why are the titles so segregated???

www.fide.com/docs/regulations/FIDE%20Title%20Regulations%202022.pdf

Is Fide so sexist as to make the claim in their own regulations that women simply cannot compete against men in Chess?

Is FIDE's official position that women are not good at this game.

Certainly seems to be the case.

[P.S I do not agree with FIDE's position, and would support the removal of Female titles, or the change of said titles to match the requirements for the non-gendered equivalents I.E WFM and FM having similar requirements]

[PPS Will I or another lichess member who is a Male, get to write up a blog post about harassment of Men online. I've had several instances in the past of harassment of a sexual nature in Chess and IRL. I've also had several women, in the past, slap my ass, while going about my day, and frankly this sort of behaviour is unacceptable in modern society. I have mentally never been the same.]

@Tremarl said in #522:

>
> [PPS Will I or another lichess member who is a Male, get to write up a blog post about harassment of Men online. ]

Click "Community" then "Blog" then "My Blog" and you can write whatever you want.

And while we're at it, @replaced should write that blog about auto accidents!!

@KevinWeinberg said in #515:
> Now, I **REALLY** do hope people will take notice of the fact that the user known as "QueenRosmarie" is outright insulting other users and saying: You lack empathy, and yet the mods of this website will NOT delete this post.
>
> But if you were to disagree with this user, your post is deleted and you are warned, as has been done to me three times in this thread already for saying even milder things than that. Why?
>
> Because there are two sets of rules at play here for two different sets of people. If you are under the illusion that everyone on these forums is expected to follow the same code of conduct, then you are incredibly mistaken.
>
> There are rules for those who agree with the views the mods believe everyone should hold, and there are those who don't.
>
> And if two users commit the exact same offense, only one type of user will have their post deleted.
>
> That is why this user is able to outright insult someone and say "you lack empathy," (a clear personal attack) yet if you were to say that you found the user in question immoral, which I did, that is considered an insult.
>
> So saying "immoral" is an insult if it comes from someone who holds different views from the mods.
>
> But saying someone lacks empathy is NOT an insult if it comes from someone who the mods have a bias in favor of.

" And if two users commit the exact same offense, only one type of user will have their post deleted."

That is simply not the case.

I had one of my posts deleted and I am with QM on this matter

Perhaps you would like to have a look at something called " Confirmation bias" ?

www.simplypsychology.org/confirmation-bias.html

@replaced said in #519:
> What's wrong with dates happening outside of a dating website? If someone sends an unsolicited message to another asking for a date/something romantic, that by itself isn't harassment. Only after a response that it's unwelcome and the person continues does it become harassment.

First of all, I find asking strangers that you've never talked to before about romantic things a bit questionable, but that's beside the point. I never said that sending an unsolicited message in itself is harassment. However, the majority of these messages don't stop once someone makes it clear it's unwelcome. It continues, which counts as harassment by your own definition, no?

@Tremarl said in #526:
> And will Lichess platform my blog in the community blog section for maximum exposure on this website, as they did with this blog?

You need a blog post to gain popularity for that to happen. Lichess uses its algorithm to choose the most popular blogs at the moment.