I play chess with some friends every afternoon. They are strong players but they pressure me to play quickly the critical positions since we don't use clocks to measure the time we always debate about who is taking more time to think.
I am making really stupid mistakes in these games, I wouldn't normally make such mistakes in an online game with a clock, because I know how to manage time, but during the games with my friends I have no choice but to play super complicated positions the same way I play other moves.
Can this kind of play harm the quality of my games? I don't like hope chess but I think I have to play it sometimes, is it harmful?
Even for some fun games with friends, clocks add to the fun imho. You don't have to get a chess clock if you don't have one, but I am quite sure one of you guys have a smartphone. There are a lot of free chess clock apps out there. Will make things way better having a chess clock in the pocket always. At least it did for me, cause one side tends to get bored without clock.
Apart from that: Chess with friends harmful? No. ;-)
Yes, I brought a clock once, but they were loosing all the time, so they removed the clock.
They said they were not used to clocks, now it is the same story again, they complain I am thinking too much.
Yes, I think too much in critical positions, but of course I can play quickly in quite positions.
Either they have no interest in thinking things through, and don't understand why you are taking more time on certain moves (they're not really into the game, they just like the idea but they don't want to think), or they rush you in critical positions in order to beat you because they realize it's the only way they can :) I'd probably insist on using a clock -- and let them choose the time control --, as it must not be much fun to be rushed in complex positions all the time.
One thing that does 'harm' is: if playing w/ friends mean being so 'friendly' that you offer/accept loads of takebacks, then you won't improve I fear.
JacquesD not everybody can stay calm when they lose, I would remain confident and calm even after 5 loses in a row, but they lose control in these cases.
Neverness I allow my opponents to take back, but I don't allow myself to take back because it harms my system of thinking.
I find that when my friends give me vodka, it affects my game.
So they rush you when you have a little think in a critical situation, they refuse to use a clock and they get angry and lose control when they lose? Hopefully you enjoy these friends for other things than chess, otherwise you might as well play with other people!
IMO playing with friends motivates you as long as you have good chess habits and you're all at roughly the same level. Even better if you take trips to tourneys and make chess fun as well (and have wild after-partays). If all you do is play blitz and bughouse then u prolly won't get better in classic chess.
